I said: ‘I bet I know what your favourite Christian festival is.’ He said: ‘You have to love Easter, baby.'” “I used go out with an anaesthetist – she was a local girl.” “Crime in multi-storey car parks. ’ I said, ‘I don’t care what star sign it is.'” “You know, I’m not very good at magic – I can only do half of a trick.
So I built a little square room on the side of our house and put him and my wife in it, locked the door and went back upstairs to play The Sims.*It was practically impossible to find the true original sources of all these jokes.
So we’ve just listed the domains were we found them.
That’s unless you’re talking about the dad jokes we’ve compiled right here.
Yes, they’re corny and awful, but somehow they all make us laugh despite their ridiculousness.
Although, on the plus side, if he hadn’t have done all that there would be no Call of Duty: World at War My smartass 14-year-old son challenged me to a game of Tekken the other day, in front of his mates.
I finished him off with a killer combo in under 30 seconds, before proudly exclaiming, “Who’s your Daddy?It was a tribute act.” “I went down my local ice-cream shop, and said ‘I want to buy an ice-cream’. ’ I said ‘We’ll start with one.’ He said ‘Knickerbocker glory? He’s a catholic converter.” “He said ‘I’m going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library’.’ I said ‘I do get a certain amount of freedom in these trousers, yes.'” “I bought a train ticket and the driver said ‘Eurostar? I thought ‘That’s a turn-up for the books.'” “And the back of his anorak was leaping up and down, and people were chucking money to him. ’ He said ‘Yes, this is my livelihood.'” “I bought some Armageddon cheese today, and it said on the packet ‘Best Before End…'” “So this bloke says to me, ‘Can I come in your house and talk about your carpets?Did he invent the buttwalk or rather the original moonwalk?That man-invented holy fantasy book to which you refer has some hilarious passages.He replied, “Well, because he’s got a kill-to-death ratio of 6 million to 1.”Hitler was one of the most evil men in history.