Sometimes this means giving something up, but actually most times this means we both get what we want and we both feel very loved, supported, and that we are in each other’s corner.I don’t feel afraid to be giving, because he really has my best interests at heart.They also made clear that this only works if you are giving 90%. I definitely think about my spouse’s needs and feelings the majority of the time and try to be compromising.
You can’t put boundaries on someone else—only yourself.
If someone is treating you badly, you can’t change their behavior.
My parents advised what they did in their own marriage: “both of you always think about giving 90% to your partner and you both will be very happy.” They meant it’s so important to think about how your partner is feeling, to stand in their shoes, to be giving and compromising, and emotionally generous.
That 10% is for the understanding that sometimes it’s also OK to be a bit selfish, to place your needs first, or stand firm on something.
But you can ask yourself why you accept it and how you can put a boundary on yourself so that you won’t accept it again.
It made me take more responsibility for my role in bad relationships.
And even when you do find the right one, you’ll still have your work cut out for you as you make an effort to maintain your relationship.
Finding the right person to settle down with can often feel like a very frustrating game of chance.
When I learned that I’m responsible for my own happiness and when I learned how to consistently align with it, my entire world transformed.
I now have the freedom to choose if and when I spend time with someone else, and I deliberately choose to spend time with others who get this, too.
This advice transformed every relationship in my life – not just the romantic ones.