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The guy I was with after that was overweight but his overall build was more robust, so he mostly looked "big" in a sort of strong way. I didn't get as much flack for being with him (likely because he was very well liked/respected by our mutual friends and was on the same level as me academically/intellectually and thus was a better match for me long term), but a few people made comments about me being a "chubby chaser", which is a gross assumption to make about someone just because 2/4 of the men they've been in relationships with were a little on the heavier side. I've always found heavier men more attractive (not obese but bigger). I'm 99% sure he was just trying to give me a little confidence.
Guy #2 actually ended up losing a lot of weight and looks phenomenal now, but he looked good before, too. Maybe because I find them to make me feel protected. But it put a smile on my face and made me realize there was some good in the world.
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I did get a ton of shit from not only my friends but his as well, and it sucked because I couldn't understand why people were putting so much weight on looks vs us getting along and being happy.
We didn't last long because he was insecure within our relationship and also it was because his eating habits got worse.
The thing that bothered me wasn't just the shit talking about this guy I really cared for and the obvious superficialness of the criticism, but the constant implication that I was with him because I "must not think I could do any better". But big men to me can mean overweight or just stocky. just because someone else isn't attracted to someone you're attracted to doesn't make them any less attractive or any less of a person. And the one kid (I describe him as a cross between Rambo and Bro Science), I was talking to him about how I'm a bigger woman, and I know I need to get into shape, etc.
That was awful, because this person made me so happy at the time, and was a really wonderful human being. And I don't always fall for conventionally attractive guys. we all have certain traits we are and are not attracted to. And he just said, "Meh, I like bigger women."It was so sweet because he was clearly lying.
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