Sometimes a “ceremony” or “rite of passage” of some kind (on the analogy of the Jewish Bar- or Bat-Mitzvah) can be helpful in redefining roles and establishing new parameters.
If you think it might be helpful to discuss these issues at greater length with a member of our staff, we’d like to invite you to call Focus on the Family’s Counseling department.
Our counselors would be happy to come alongside you in any way they can.
He will have to choose to act on the basis of the wisdom you’ve attempted to instill in him over the years and out of an awareness of his personal responsibility toward his Creator.
If he attends church, it should be because because he’s adhering to a curfew.
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Whether or not he takes immediate advantage of the opportunity, he has the right to leave home and make his own way in the world.
Very soon, if not already, his personal decisions will have to be something more than a matter of simple “submission” to Mom’s and Dad’s injunctions.
You need to be able to say, “As you approach adulthood, here’s what changes and here’s what stays the same.” Above all, resist the temptation to manipulate or control.